Do you feel like you have no control over your life? Maybe bad things seem to happen to you, and pain, chaos, anger, and hopelessness follow you, accompanied by a feeling of being trapped. If you answered yes, know we have all been there. Today I want to look at someone who knows how you feel and the lessons we can learn from her life; Michal.
A Girl in Love
Michal and David’s story is one of the saddest stories in the Bible. The first mention of Michal and David is a statement. 1 Samuel 18:20 states, now Saul’s daughter Michal loved David. And they told Saul, and the thing pleased him. Michal is the only woman that the Bible mentions who loved a man.
So Michal was in love with David, and when her father found out, he was delighted because he thought he could use her feelings to trap David. He offered her in marriage to David if he could pay the bride price with the foreskin of 100 Philistines. When David delivered double what Saul asked, Michal became his wife.
We do not know how David felt about Michal, but as stated, Michal was in love with him. I imagine she was thrilled to marry the man of her dreams, but unfortunately, her happiness would not last.
A Painful Outcome
Her father became crazier and crazier each day, and David’s life became endangered. For David to live, he would need to leave the palace and go on the run. Michal chose David over her father and protected him by lying to Saul and giving David time to get safely away.
What Michal thought would be the outcome of her decision, I do not know, but I doubt she imagined her father would give her to another man in marriage. But that’s what happened. Saul gave Michal to Palti, son of Lash, despite her still being married to David.
Take a moment and imagine the pain that must have been going through Michal’s heart. The man she loved was on the run for his life, and the only way he could come home was if her father was dead.
Suddenly Michal is thrown into a mess beyond her control, and now to top everything off, her father has given her in marriage to another man she did not love. Michal’s life was spiraling out of control, and she couldn’t do one thing about it. Unfortunately, in biblical times women were treated like property and had no say over their lives. There was absolutely nothing Michal could do to change her circumstances.
By No Fault of Our Own
Does your life feel similar to Michal’s? Like it is spinning out of control. Many trials we face in this life come from nothing we did ourselves. Oh, we have plenty we have caused, don’t get me wrong. But many are caused by those around us making decisions that affect us. Maybe someone has done something hurtful directly to you or made poor decisions that affected you.
When we feel we have no control over what has happened to us or the pain we feel because of someone else’s decision, we can feel trapped, confused, and even angry. These feelings can lead to something even more dangerous; bitterness.
A Life Turned Upside Down
The next time we see Michal mentioned is when David returns from the land of the Philistines with six other wives and requests Michal’s return; many believe this was a political move on David’s part and not one of love. Although we do not know for sure what David’s reasons were, we can be certain David and Michal were two completely different people after so much time had passed.
After seven years of marriage to Palti, Michal is ripped away from the life she knew. Seven years is plenty of time to settle in with someone, especially if her new husband loved her, which 2 Samuel 3:16 gives us the impression he did. But her husband went with her, weeping after her all the way to Bahurim. Then Abner said to him, “Go, return.” And he returned.
Imagine your husband weeping as you were heading to your original husband, who you haven’t seen for seven years. The heartbreak in this verse is almost tangible; although we do not see Michal’s feelings, the heartbreak of her husband speaks volumes.
Once again, Michal’s life is shaken by nothing she did. She was a pawn in a political game between two people she loved. The person who lost in this battle was Michal.
A Dangerous Response
We get insight into how Michal responded to all she faced in 2 Samuel 6:16. As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal, the daughter of Saul, looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, and she despised him in her heart.
Michal’s feelings for David did not suddenly change because he offended her by dancing before the Lord. The statement that she despised him came from the heart of a bitter woman. Everything that happened to Michal built up until it came out in the feeling of hatred. No one would have blamed Michal for her feelings; from the standard of the world, they were valid, but the only person they hurt was Michal.
2 Samuel 6:23 states, And Michal, the daughter of Saul, had no child to the day of her death. Her bitterness led to more pain and disgrace, only this time; she was the one responsible for it.
Reject Bitterness
We cannot control what other people do to us or around us. The only thing we can control is how we react to it. Bitterness will only destroy you, and unforgiveness and anger will eat you alive. Although this is a basic message and not one with great revelation, it is an important one and one greatly needed for a life of peace.
So, if you are holding onto unforgiveness, anger, resentment, hurt, and bitterness, I encourage you to lay it down and let it go; I assure you it isn’t worth holding onto.
Start by confessing to the Lord that you have been holding onto these feelings and then ask him for help letting them go. Pray for the ability to forgive and begin seeing the person who hurt you as a hurt person.
When we start to see people as lost, blinded by Satan, hurt, and broken, it is easier to see the importance of forgiveness. Do not think I am taking this lightly or saying this will be an easy and quick task because I am saying no such thing. In fact, I can promise it will be a process and will take time, prayer, and effort.
A Story of Unrequited Love
But we forgive because God forgave us. Let’s look at God’s story for a minute. He created a species in his image, so he could fellowship with them and care for them. God created humans to love and be loved by, but from the beginning, God was not enough for them.
Eve chose the lie of being equal to God, and Adam chose Eve. Neither chose God.
Then God finds Abraham and makes him a promise to make him a great nation. He chooses these people as his chosen possession. But these people, from the very start, made a habit of rejecting him. Years and years went by of God reaching for his creation only to receive a cold shoulder.
Finally, God sends himself as a man to give the ultimate gift of love; his life. The very people he came to save; mocked, beat, spat on, and crucified him.
Everything that happened to Father God and Jesus was of no fault of their own but was the result of human choice. To this day, God still reaches for his creation, and daily he faces rejection, even from his people who claim to love him. If God can forgive a lifetime of hurt and rejection from billions of people, you and I can also forgive. It will take a decision, but it is possible through the grace of God.
Forgiveness is a Command
Colossians 3:13 states, Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
And Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15, For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
According to these verses, forgiveness is not a choice; it’s a requirement. You will also find when you forgive, a true peace that holding onto bitterness could never give you.
Referenced Verses: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+18%3A20-29&version=ESVhttps://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+19%3A11-18&version=ESV https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Samuel+6%3A16-23&version=ESV https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Colossians+3%3A13&version=ESV https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6%3A14-15&version=ESV
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