I mentioned a few blog posts ago that fear of rejection is something that I struggle with; therefore, friendship is also something I have a hard time desiring. It is a well-known fact that I keep most of my company with those of the canine variety instead of humans. I have a few friends who I consider best friends, but I see them once a year despite their proximity. They know that all I have to offer them is once a year, maybe twice if we are lucky.
My actions are not a natural desire in me but instead are a coping mechanism to try to protect myself from additional hurt. But God has been tugging at my spirit with the importance of fellowship, especially with fellow believers.
Two are Better than One
Recently I felt called to invite a woman over who I hadn’t seen in over 20 years for dinner and conversation. I hesitated at first and fought the urge, but I knew it was God. Thankfully I gave in and offered the invitation. The evening of conversation was refreshing to my soul. Bonding with someone over vulnerabilities and struggles reminds us that we are not alone.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 is a good reminder that we shouldn’t be trying to do this life on our own. It states, Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. I want to take a minute and highlight what God has shown me about the importance of godly friendship.
Someone to Re-direct You
A good friend is a friend who will not let you turn down the wrong road without telling you it is not the right one for you. They will encourage you not to give in to sin and tell you why what you believe isn’t biblical. Because of this need, our closest counsel must be godly. Psalm 1: 1 says, Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers (NLT).
Although we should be friends with the unsaved, we must make sure that they are not the voices that influence our actions. A good Christian friend should speak biblical truth into your situation and advise you with godly wisdom. They will do their best to help you not fall.
Someone Who will Pick you Up
But if you do end up going your own way and choosing sin, a godly friend will help pick you up and turn you back to the right path when you are ready. They will help you pick up the pieces of your life and encourage you to give them to God. We should not be condemning each other for falling because we all fall every day, just perhaps in less visible ways. It is possible to love someone without condoning their actions. You should be able to know that your godly friend will not turn on you when you make poor choices.
Someone to Fight Beside You
Later in the chapter, Solomon tells us, Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves (Ecclesiastes 9:12). Having a godly friend to help fight your battles can affect the result. If you have someone beside you encouraging you with scripture and pointing you back to the presence of God, you will be less likely to become discouraged and give up. I love the story in Exodus where God tells Moses to send Joshua out to fight the Amalekites.
Moses had to hold his hands up for the Israelites to have victory, but naturally, his arms grew tired; So, Aaron and Hur held up Moses’ arms. The Israelites gained victory because of this. During a mighty battle, when we are beginning to grow weary, we need someone in our lives to offer us their strength and hold us up. If we do not have the support of others, it will be easier to give up and be defeated.
Final Words
God created us for fellowship; as hard as that is for me to come to terms with, I know this is true. When God created man, he also created woman because it was not good for man to be alone. It is not a good idea for us to face this world alone; we need to encourage and be encouraged; Re-direct and be re-directed; stand firm with each other, and most of all, point each other to God and his truths.
This new year join me in being more intentional with your friendships/relationships. Reach out to someone today and see how you can encourage them. This world is challenging, but God gave us the resources to face it, and one of those resources is friendship.
Referenced verses: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+4%3A9-12&version=NIV https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+1%3A1&version=NIV https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+17%3A9-13&version=NIV
Janet says
Friendships are great to have when they have a positive impact on your life. Great article!
carrie says
So true! Glad you enjoyed it!
Miriam says
Carrie, what a great reminder of the importance of Godly friendships. As a working mother, I sometimes feel like I’ve let that part go. I don’t make time to connect with my once upon a time friend, and I do miss that. My sister & neighbor is probably my closest friend now, but I do enjoy our talks about our spiritual encounters as we walk or jog together!
carrie says
Life can get in the way of friendship and it is easy to let it fall by the wayside. I totally get that! Even if you have your one friend that you are encouraging and being encouraged by that is still so important! A few good friends are better than having many friends.
Tamera-YourChristianBestFriend says
Godly friendships is definitely a must have. We were not meant to do life alone.
carrie says
That is something that I am learning! I’ve learned to be a loner and I’m having to unlearn it!
Jeanine says
We all need to have friends that accept us for who we are & our beliefs. These may be few, but they will also be true.
carrie says
So true!
Diomayra says
Amazing article!!! Our friendship with God and his son Jesus will lead us to the right people to form friendships with.
carrie says
Very true! Glad you enjoyed it!
Cori says
Yes this is so very true! I don’t have many friends and its not because of my attitude its because I choose to not have many. Godly friends are important. They give us accountability. Something I need. They are good for my anxiety and depression too!
I have been praying for some good Christian friends that me and my husband can hang out with. Sometimes we need to be the ones to make the first move in a new friendship. And I know God will help me with that when the time comes! Great read!